Photo credit – Talk Yoga
It is completely normal to seek advice from your friends especially when it comes to relationship issues but sometimes the advice you get from some of your friends can be very questionable.
There’s a lady, let’s call her Jane, who has been married for close to 36 years and has been together with her husband for 41 years – this wouldn’t have been so however she revealed.
When Jane and her husband were newlyweds they went through a rough patch and like most women do, Jane sought out for advice from her closest friend – a single woman at that time.
When her friend heard of Jane’s dilemma in her marriage, her friend went on to tell her to “wachana na yeye” and to go live with her.
To cut the long story short, Jane went with her instincts and cut her friend off and as they say the rest is history.
Jane’s story is just one of the many stories that reveal why married women should not seek relationship advice from their single friends when they are in a “married person situation”.
No hard feelings to their single friends though.
Here are some of the reasons why married women should refrain from taking relationship advice from their single friends.
1.Your single friends are biased.
There is no form of objectivity when you seek advice from your single friends. They may mean well in wanting the best for you but may be unaware that some pieces of advice are better left unsaid.
Take Jane’s situation as an example; she was a newlywed and was probably just starting to learn who her husband was and starting to learn the differences between herself and her husband which is completely normal when you are a newlywed.
It was however not grounds for her to leave her marriage.
There is nothing wrong with your friends being biased though, they are your friends after all, but there should be a boundary on the type of advice they are giving their married friends and the married women should also have a boundary on what to share with them.
2.They could be bitter
It will come as no surprise if your friend gets a bit jealous of you when you get married.
Okay maybe jealous is a big word to use let’s use envy.
If you have been wondering why your friend may be giving you less than helpful advice on your relationship then they might just be feeling a bit envious of you.
You went off and got married and her relationship status has still not changed since then; your friend can harbor some not so great feelings inside – take Kelly Rowland’s “Dirty Laundry” song for instance.
She revealed how she was feeling a bit bad that Beyonce’s career had taken off but hers was still stagnant – she was not jealous of Beyonce but was simply unhappy with her situation.
This might cause your friend to give you some not so great advice because they are so into their feelings that they might project it to your situation.
3.They really do not understand your situation as a married woman
This does not mean they do care about you though; they may simply not full understand what happens in a marriage.
Your priorities have changed as a married woman. Your single friend may want to stay up all night at the club and you just can’t afford to do that anymore because you have other pressing things to worry about.
4.You can lose trust with your significant other
Going back to why married women should be careful about what they decide to share with their single friends.
As tempting as sharing juicy details about your marriage is, it could be detrimental to your relationship with your significant other.
How could it be detrimental to your relationship?
When your husband finds out that you shared an intimate detail about him that he shared with you, it could cause some trust issues in your relationship.
Again no offence to the single friends if your married friend chooses not to share details of their relationship with you.